Dear Me, love Me.

Every so often, I'll be posting an anonymous piece of writing from someone with what they'd tell their sixteen year old self now if they could. I really thought it'd be interesting to do a little project and get some of my friends involved. If you wanna get involved, my email address is tish.hart@hotmail.co.uk and I absolutely promise to keep it anonymous, if you don't feel comfortable letting even me know who you are, send it from a throw away account but just be sure to add your age now and gender at the bottom.

Here's your first one guys:


Dear myself when I was 16? 16 Self? Self 16? 

  You've made plenty of mistakes but mistakes have a good side too. Thanks to your mistakes, you will learn many important lessons, however some of your mistakes were just stupid.  Firstly, realise how lucky you are: You have a great family who only want the best for you. You have friends who only want to have a laugh and have fun. Don't lie, upset or hurt anyone, you'll regret it. Don't let anyone lie, upset or hurt you either, just carry on. 

   It's not all negative though, I admire your stubbornness, your lack of respect for authority and your slightly mental/psycho character. 

Just have fun, love your mum and don't get caught up in all the emotional bullshit, like "Ergh my life, arhggh my life".

   That's all you crazy shit, now go and masturbate or do some homework.

P.s. Finish that relationship, there's plenty more fish in the sea.
M/18

Remembering when you were mine, in a still suburban town.

I see your face everywhere.
You are the person that ran for the tube at Marble Arch.
You are the person that sat three seats away from me on my train home.
You are the person that I saw disappear into the kitchen at a party.
You are the person that served me a drink when I was too gone.
You are the person that smiled at me on the street when I was having a bad day.
You are the person that will kiss me next.
But, of course, you are not these people. 
It will be nothing more than coincidence when I next see you clearly. 
I cannot think of anything more romantic or painful.
But I'm okay with that.
My heart would be on my sleeve if it wasn't already in your pocket.

It's not often I'm speechless.

Yesterday I was introduced to someone by my housemate Dan.
Tattooed, bearded and an amazing guitar player, if you don't know already, this describes my perfect man. As I watched him, my heart began beating twice the speed it usually would. My stomach filled with butterflies, and my mind wandered into places I thought it wouldn't dare to revisit for a long time. I couldn't take my eyes or ears off of him.
Before you watch what I'm about to post, stop doing whatever else it is you're doing. Close all your tabs (except this one, obviously), put your phone on silent, turn the television off. Give this man your pure unadulterated attention.
Everyone, meet John Butler.

How perfect was that?
American/Australian Butler started off as a busker, sold 3,000 copies of his cassettes, found a manager in the first guy that ever booked him for a real gig, formed the John Butler Trio and was nominated for and won a whole heap of awards. Also doing a lot of solo work and tours, he's an "advocate of peace, environmental protection and global harmony" Thank you Wikipedia. 
And, if that wasn't enough, he's down right beautiful too.

Sometimes no words will justify just what you've experienced. But I urge you to watch this, it is utterly flawless.

I think it's time we finally met.

I think I've done enough blog posts to be able to justify a little 'about me' NOTE - this is not because I think IYM INTERNUTZ FAMUZ and you all wanna know about the gyal behind tha blog xoxo0, it's cus I'm like, the nosiest person EVER. Generally if I find a blog, the first thing I do is look for an 'about me' bit. Not sure why I enjoy reading them but I do, and it's only common sense that you should write something you know you'd read. Sooo, here it is ladies and germs:

My full name is Tatjana Luisa Hart, but everyone calls me Tish.
My birthday is the 1st of April, no one has ever played an April Fools trick on me. 
I am 18
I study Journalism at UCA Farnham. I absolutely love it.  
I lived in London until I was 9, since then I have lived in Northampton.
I'm half Greek, agapi mou. (I literally speak no Greek, I'm just showing off)
I love vintage everything, I just don't have the money to exhibit my obsession.
I love the forties, fifties and sixties. 
I LOVE CATS
I love Marilyn Monroe. 
My Mum and my Nan are my favourite people in the whole world. They're my best friends and the women I look up to most.
My favourite books are The Great Gatsby and The Catcher in the Rye. 
I am deeply saddened that Nick from New Girl isn't a real person because I am in love with him.
My favourite films are Pulp Fiction and Léon: The professional. 
I love writing, I feel like it's the only thing I'd consider myself to be alright at.
If I wasn't at uni, I'd want to be airline cabin crew. I actually had an interview to be part of the cabin crew for Virgin Atlantic but I turned it down when I got into uni. 
I love Che Guevara
My Mum brought me up listening to garage tunes, so this ultimately is my fave genre of music, but I'll literally listen to anything. 
I'm currently loving City and Colour and SBTRKT
I have more male than female friends, but since coming to uni I have met some of the best girls I'll ever meet in my life. 
I think I'm hilarious.
I am a Reddit fiend. 
I do that thing Robin and Ted from How I Met Your Mother do when someone says "General *insert word here*" (I did this before I even started watching HIMYM) I salute. I always laugh. No one else does. Deal widdit.
Lastly (and most importantly) - I'm a huge twat. 

This is a New Orleans Prostitute from 1912 because why not?

WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT GUYS. Just about as much as I'm willing to share with you at this point. Don't sweat, we've only just met. You'll get to know me better in time, and you'll also learn how much the last 'fact' comes into play. B-E-A-U-tiful! And you are?

Doc, about the future...

Before we begin I would like to make it clear that anything that sounds slightly anecdotal probably is and I would like you to refrain from judging me. Thank you for your time. 

The past has this funny way of catching up with us. (Cliché to the max, in fact I think that's the tag line to a super cheesy movie. Whatever, don't interrupt my flow).
Whether it's ex boyfriends, ex potential boyfriends, ex what in the hell even were we's. They'll do something, ANYTHING, as the last grain of sand in the hourglass that metaphorically represents the time you gave to them is going to drop. That's it. The hourglass is flipped over and you have a gazillion grains waiting to be drained again. And you go through the motions. We all know the motions right? (Not the menopause ones). In case you're unfamiliar with them because you're super woman, or just not emotionally unstable like me (please tell me I'm not alone) here they are -

Stage 1: Crying. Crying and despair. They were so magical, all these memories, look at them, LOOK AT HOW PERFECT THEY ARE. I'll never find another them.

Stage 2: Man hating. You turn into a more ruthless crazy Germaine Greer crazy feminist crazy that you actually debate lesbianism. A popular phrase heard by most young ladies going through stage 2: "I hate men, they're all bastards. I'm going to give up on men and just be a lesbian". Hands up if you have said that, or something similar to that. Yeah, thought so. NOTE - Stage 2 often crops up in every day life even when the motions aren't in play.

Stage 3: The vodka induced slut. Your first night out since Mr. Perfect has text you something nice then not replied to your drunk text/been tagged in a picture on Facebook with his arm around some random HOE/booty called at your most fragile then didn't return your calls ETC, delete where applicable. You're on the rebound, and more dangerously, you're on the vodkas. Cocky and confident because you haven't eaten for a couple of days because of the stress so you think you look skinnier than a Victoria's secret model, you're looking hot, there's no denying it. You notice the guys checking you out and you love it, you play up to it, few free drinks here, cheeky snog there. Until you black out. Then you wake up in a random bed and think "SHIT, who the fuck is this guy, and why did my friends let me go home with him*"

*They actually tried to pull you away from him but you were insistent. 

Stage 4: And breathe. This is my favourite stage. You realise that YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SUCH A MENTAL BASTARD, and that you're alright. You have your friends, you've deleted your heartbreak playlist, and even though from time to time a song that was on it will play, it won't make you cry. You normally know you're in Stage 4 when, while walking alone, you smile, and realise that genuinely, you are happy. 


The point I'm trying to make is that, the past will always be just that, the past. It is only your actions in the present that can define what the past will be. If today, or tomorrow, or whenever, is interrupted by ex McDickhead, it's important to remember that that's behind you now, and however uncertain your future looks it is unavoidable. But you'll be alright. Promise.

Time to celebrate the day you could be bothered to slide out your mums vajayjay

BWAER, IMG HEVI.
It's my birthday in two weeks, here's a list of all the shit I want. (Mum, this is in no particular order) 

1. Bioshock Infinite - Gamer gurl l0lz! Whatever, Bioshock is amazing!

2. Casio watch - this is more of a need than a want.

3. Topshop Chelsea boots - No explanation needed.

4. The Great Gatsby book cover poster - fave book of all time needs recognition on my walls.

5. Tomb Raider - GaMeR gUrl Pt. TwOoO

6. Retro room divider - I'm being ridiculous, I don't need this, but it's fabulous.

7. True Romance - T-t-t-t-tarantino! 

8. 'Unt' mug - Self explanatory.

I don't really want all this stuff for my birthday (apart from the watch...). I'm not sure I want to have a birthday at all really. Who wants to be 19? Not me. I can't even fathom what this time next year will be like when I'll be turning 20. I think I'm going to have an early mid life crisis.

I like your art, you have nice art.

Okay I don't normally do this but, well, you'll understand why I've made an exception. 

Browsing Urban Outfitters because as a uni student coming up to the end of my second term, I get off on taunting myself with beautiful things I can't afford. AND I DISCOVER THESE BEAUTIES! Behold... 

This amazing wall art is new in Urban Outfitters and they're twenty five quid each.
I'm particularly loving the the cat pic and "IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES"
NEED.

Little bitta feels.

Do you have a song that played at the right moment, at the right time, that fit ever-so-perfectly with the situation you were in?
After what I think may have been the loveliest and most sentimental couple of days I've had for a while, I heard this song for the first time (where have I been, right?).

Never the less, I'm sharing it with you, 'cus y'know, beautiful. 

Flapjacks and snattoos.

I know I've been slack, please forgive me, I'll update you on my life in another post. But what you're here for right now is my first (of hopefully many) tattoo post!

I give to you, one of my fave uni gals and course friend, Emma, the total babe.

Emma is one of two girls I met on the first day of my course induction at uni and we've been friends ever since, she's hilarious, she's a sassy lil thang, and she has tattoos. Perfect for my first tatt post malark.

How old were you when you got your first tattoo? 
Eighteen, legal age!
Which one was it? 
Um, I got the three arm tattoos done in one session because it was cheaper. 
Which one is your favourite? 
Probably the rose or the skull, just because they're the most... not artistic but best drawn out ones.

Are there any reasons behind your tattoos or do you just like them? 
There are reasons behind all of them, but when people ask I don't want to sound like a sob story... well not a sob story but it's just unrelated issues to people asking. My skull is a jokey way to look at dying. I used to get anxiety about dying and he reminds me to not take life so seriously, which is why he's wearing a hat. The card in his hat is the highest value card in a deck, which is a metaphor for the highest valued thing in life, that and not caring, that's whats important.

Where do you go to get your tattoos? 
A tattoo shop in Welling called Demon Ink. My friends suggested it to me because when I originally told them where I wanted to go to get tattoos they were warning me not to and suggested another place that does awesome line work.

Do you plan on getting any more?
Um, I don't have any in mind at the moment, I've always had these in mind. But if one pops into my mind I'll get it done. I'm not serious about any more though because I think I went a bit crazy as soon as I was legal to get tattoos. I wanted my Deathly Hallows tattoo when the final film came out but I was under age, I decided to wait to get it done. I didn't want to go somewhere dodgy because it's going to be on my body for life.

Do you have any advice for people that are thinking about getting tattoos? 
Draw them out yourself, or if you can't draw have a long discussion about the tattoo with the artist. What you have in mind might not necessarily work as a tattoo but an artist will always pull it into one for you. But have a good idea, don't go to a shop blind. I think you can get silly tattoos, but as long as you like them and don't care what other people think about them, you're fine. 

Like I said, such as sassy babe. She's currently running an awesome music blog which you should definitely check out.

Actual proof that we're mates, standard drunk photo. I'm a scary mohoe.