Monday 23 September 2013

We are the reckless




For a little while (my whole natural life) I've been doubting the existence of the sisterhood. Did it ever exist? Personally, I have never been favoured by female company, and vice versa. I've been told on many occasions (usually one where there's alcohol) "Oh my god you're so lovely! I can't believe I thought you were such a massive bitch before I even knew you!" THANK YOU NATURE FOR GRACING ME WITH A BITCH FACE. It's only since coming to university, perhaps maybe because maturity levels have increased, that I have found a solid group of girlfriends, but I can only count them on one hand. My guy friends though, the number of them would require me to get my feet out, and perhaps even my penis. Why do they outweigh the girls? Because most boys attitudes are absolutely 100% different to most girls. I'm talking rational behaviour and the ability to LET THINGS GO. Don't get me wrong, not all guys are like this, and I'm not saying guys don't bitch because some of the guys I know are worse than a room full of 1950's housewives. 

My track record with girls has never been fantastic and my life experience has honestly made me extremely wary of putting trust into new girlfriends; in reception I witnessed a milky skinned blonde girl approach the other milky skinned blonde girl in the class AND CUT HER LIP OPEN WITH SCISSORS. My first encounter of girl on girl crime, slight over reaction on girl number one's part but I guess her train of thought was the same of most girls who see another girl as a threat: annihilate her. Except social boundaries hadn't yet taught her that all girl wars were sneaky and not quite as blatant as taking a sharp object to someones chops. Orrrrrr maybe she was just a psychopath.
Even as child growing up and having a female cousin similar in age, if I had something new or cool that she wanted, it would be made hers ASAP. If you are born with the trait of jealousy it cannot be something that is easily shook, I was the younger (definitely cuter) grandchild, and she wasn't the only one anymore, which could've been the reason for her assigning me all the shittiest characters when we played make believe and whatnot. 
My mum went to my parents evening in year one or two, and the teacher told her she'd never ever met a more bitchy bunch of six year olds. Yup.
Secondary school was when I was in my largest group of girlfriends but, as life dictates sometimes when we grow older we grow apart, unfortunately I was the one that grew apart from the rest and was left rethinking a lot about the person I had nearly become. Fortunately for me I've always had an insane team of guy friends that at times of desperation have stopped me being a complete arsehole and reminded me that life is for living, not for dwelling. 

For me, coming to university was a fresh start, no rumours were following me, no one from home to taint the image someone may have held of me to put them off becoming my friend, nothing sinister in the slightest. People were gonna like or dislike me through no ones fault but my own, right? Wrong. 
It's funny isn't it, how some girls can be completely irrational over a guy. I'm guilty of it, perhaps I'm not as INSANE as a few bunny boilers out there but I've definitely thought things about girls unfairly when it should have been the guy I was torturing in my mind. However it is one step further when you go out of your way to make a girl feel uncomfortable because you are unhappy with a situation. Sometimes we do it, your friend is torn up over a guy and then the guy gets a new girlfriend which sends your friend into an absolute HATING frenzy and because you love her and because you hate seeing her like this you'll hate whoever has done this to her. But she wants the guy back, if anything the new girl he's with has hypnotised him, put him under a spell, because there's no way he'd fall for SUCH A SKANK HOE BITCH LIKE HER. So girl on girl war begins, sneakily though because y'know.. vaginas, and the indirect tweets begin and the MakingYourFriendLookAsHotOrSluttyOnANightOut to win him back sagas commence, you laugh as she walks by, you talk about why that day she's looking particularly skanky (to the point where you don't even care if she hears, you just want to make her paranoid) until you push her over the edge. Because that's what you want isn't it, her to retaliate so you can justify your own bitchiness. But she probably won't retaliate if its happened to her before, she'll just cry to herself when you're not around and then just piss you all off when she's seen being super happy with the guy your friends trying to get back. 

If you're wondering if the bitchiness ever stops, it doesn't. My nan's sister is in her seventies and is still victim to old lady hate crime in the form of her next door neighbour. Great.

Girls read magazines written by other girls that they treat like bibles, girls take fashion advice off of other girls without even knowing it, girls pick up traits of a personality from another girl because they want to give off the same aura. We are all insecure. We are all different. We are all the same. 

Don't get me wrong, this might sound like I'M being a massive bitch. I'm not. Girls are great, get the right ones together and you have the best company in the world. You can talk endlessly about penis sizes and what stationary they look like, you can sync your periods together and all fun things like that. But no in all seriousness I have a few girl friends I don't know what I'd do without, they've held me up when life was at a low, you can rely on girls to always say the right thing as well. We understand each other, which is why we shouldn't hate each other. 

Maybe my life experience has made me a slightly more rational person, maybe sometimes life has to hit you in the face for you to realise that being horrible isn't funny and doesn't make you a queen bee or a fierce bitch, it makes you a fucking cunt. Maybe my naivety of living with two strong females from being a baby and witnessing the strongest bond of a mother and daughter sticking together put me under some sort of illusion that girls have this unspoken bond, the sisterhood, that all girls will follow the code too. Maybe that's why I'll never give up hope on the sisterhood, but sometimes will lose a little faith in its existence. 

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