We are the reckless

For a little while (my whole natural life) I've been doubting the existence of the sisterhood. Did it ever exist? Personally, I have never been favoured by female company, and vice versa. I've been told on many occasions (usually one where there's alcohol) "Oh my god you're so lovely! I can't believe I thought you were such a massive bitch before I even knew you!" THANK YOU NATURE FOR GRACING ME WITH A BITCH FACE. It's only since coming to university, perhaps maybe because maturity levels have increased, that I have found a solid group of girlfriends, but I can only count them on one hand. My guy friends though, the number of them would require me to get my feet out, and perhaps even my penis. Why do they outweigh the girls? Because most boys attitudes are absolutely 100% different to most girls. I'm talking rational behaviour and the ability to LET THINGS GO. Don't get me wrong, not all guys are like this, and I'm not saying guys don't bitch because some of the guys I know are worse than a room full of 1950's housewives. 

My track record with girls has never been fantastic and my life experience has honestly made me extremely wary of putting trust into new girlfriends; in reception I witnessed a milky skinned blonde girl approach the other milky skinned blonde girl in the class AND CUT HER LIP OPEN WITH SCISSORS. My first encounter of girl on girl crime, slight over reaction on girl number one's part but I guess her train of thought was the same of most girls who see another girl as a threat: annihilate her. Except social boundaries hadn't yet taught her that all girl wars were sneaky and not quite as blatant as taking a sharp object to someones chops. Orrrrrr maybe she was just a psychopath.
Even as child growing up and having a female cousin similar in age, if I had something new or cool that she wanted, it would be made hers ASAP. If you are born with the trait of jealousy it cannot be something that is easily shook, I was the younger (definitely cuter) grandchild, and she wasn't the only one anymore, which could've been the reason for her assigning me all the shittiest characters when we played make believe and whatnot. 

My mum went to my parents evening in year one or two, and the teacher told her she'd never ever met a more bitchy bunch of six year olds. Yup.
Secondary school was when I was in my largest group of girlfriends but, as life dictates sometimes when we grow older we grow apart, unfortunately I was the one that grew apart from the rest and was left rethinking a lot about the person I had nearly become. Fortunately for me I've always had an insane team of guy friends that at times of desperation have stopped me being a complete arsehole and reminded me that life is for living, not for dwelling. 

For me, coming to university was a fresh start, no rumours were following me, no one from home to taint the image someone may have held of me to put them off becoming my friend, nothing sinister in the slightest. People were gonna like or dislike me through no ones fault but my own, right? Wrong. 

It's funny isn't it, how some girls can be completely irrational over a guy. I'm guilty of it, perhaps I'm not as INSANE as a few bunny boilers out there but I've definitely thought things about girls unfairly when it should have been the guy I was torturing in my mind. However it is one step further when you go out of your way to make a girl feel uncomfortable because you are unhappy with a situation. Sometimes we do it, your friend is torn up over a guy and then the guy gets a new girlfriend which sends your friend into an absolute HATING frenzy and because you love her and because you hate seeing her like this you'll hate whoever has done this to her. But she wants the guy back, if anything the new girl he's with has hypnotised him, put him under a spell, because there's no way he'd fall for SUCH A SKANK HOE BITCH LIKE HER. So girl on girl war begins, sneakily though because y'know.. vaginas, and the indirect tweets begin and the MakingYourFriendLookAsHotOrSluttyOnANightOut to win him back sagas commence, you laugh as she walks by, you talk about why that day she's looking particularly skanky (to the point where you don't even care if she hears, you just want to make her paranoid) until you push her over the edge. Because that's what you want isn't it, her to retaliate so you can justify your own bitchiness. But she probably won't retaliate if its happened to her before, she'll just cry to herself when you're not around and then just piss you all off when she's seen being super happy with the guy your friends trying to get back. 

If you're wondering if the bitchiness ever stops, it doesn't. My nan's sister is in her seventies and is still victim to old lady hate crime in the form of her next door neighbour. Great.

Girls read magazines written by other girls that they treat like bibles, girls take fashion advice off of other girls without even knowing it, girls pick up traits of a personality from another girl because they want to give off the same aura. We are all insecure. We are all different. We are all the same. 

Don't get me wrong, this might sound like I'M being a massive bitch. I'm not. Girls are great, get the right ones together and you have the best company in the world. You can talk endlessly about penis sizes and what stationary they look like, you can sync your periods together and all fun things like that. But no in all seriousness I have a few girl friends I don't know what I'd do without, they've held me up when life was at a low, you can rely on girls to always say the right thing as well. We understand each other, which is why we shouldn't hate each other. 

Maybe my life experience has made me a slightly more rational person, maybe sometimes life has to hit you in the face for you to realise that being horrible isn't funny and doesn't make you a queen bee or a fierce bitch, it makes you a fucking cunt. Maybe my naivety of living with two strong females from being a baby and witnessing the strongest bond of a mother and daughter sticking together put me under some sort of illusion that girls have this unspoken bond, the sisterhood, that all girls will follow the code too. Maybe that's why I'll never give up hope on the sisterhood, but sometimes will lose a little faith in its existence. 

We're gonna show the world that something good can work, and it can work for you...

I'm balls deep in my 5 month summer holiday courtesy of UCA Farnham. And with the new year looming, I can't help but reminisce about what position I was in this time last year. 

I was working full time for the summer at a cinema, nervously awaiting results day. As I was 90% certain I had failed my a levels, in my head, my dream of university was already dead.

Forever fierce and refusing to be a failure at life, I went out on a whim and applied for a job as cabin crew for Virgin Atlantic. I tweaked my CV a little (a lot) and bullshitted my way through their application questions. 

2 weeks later after I had forgotten all about even applying, I received an e-mail congratulating me on securing an interview. There's more to this story but, it's boring and I'm digressing anyway. MY POINT IS; having that back up plan, albeit not a guarantee, was the best idea I had at that time. It made the thought of not receiving good enough grades for Uni bearable (but I did make the grades and all was beautiful and right in the world). Even if you think you're absolutely guaranteed a place at your first choice Uni, having a plan B could be the smartest move you make. 

That aside, I'm sure all of you lovelies WILL make your grades, you've probably already raided ikea for all it's cutlery, and I bet you a fiver you've bought a lot of things you really really don't need. (Don't worry if you haven't yet bought things you don't need, your student loan will come in soon, that's when hauling shit begins). 

Here are a few things I wish I'd known before coming to Uni, plus a couple of things I did to make things at the beginning a bit easier:

-During freshers, be friendly, to EVERYONE

Uni is a time for you to come out of your shell, you're effectively leaving your old life behind, it's time for you to be exactly who you want to be without things from home holding you back. With that in mind, during freshers everyone is out to make friends. So don't disregard someone because they don't look like the sort of person you'd be friends with at home. I have a friend that I made at Uni that I can safely say is one of the most hilarious and loyal guys I will ever meet. At home, we would've rolled in different circles and never given each other the time of day, but as we were thrust into the bosom of one another (not literally) as housemates and we gave each other a chance, we turned out to be great friends. Plus being friendly is an all round nicer way to go about life really. 

- Put yourself out there, but be understanding to those who don't.

Introduce yourself to all of your housemates, they're going to be your first set of friends during freshers before your course starts. Say yes to things, even if you don't really fancy it that much. I nearly said no to exploring a town close to Uni, but that was the day I realised I was absolute soul mates with a girl I'd moved in with. Although if you do have a housemate that's saying no to things, don't give up on them, keep asking. (Until they tell you they're moving out cus you're all too noisy. Woops.)  

- Don't leave your tea towels in the kitchen 

Just, don't. 

- Worried about your relationship? You should be. 

I'm not going to lie to you, I lived with 7 other people, 5 of us began Uni in a relationships, and by January we were all a little lonelier (HAH, GAAAY). I'm aware this statistic isn't anything to go by, but living away from someone you're used to being with quite a bit is a challenge. If you're both prepared to work at it, your relationship will prevail and I'm expecting an invite to the wedding (with a plus 1, cheeky.). However, if worst comes to worst and it doesn't work out, Uni is an excellent place to be to get over it. You're living with your friends and active basically 24/7, and someone will always get drunk in a bath with you. 

-Beware of the sausage theif 

Milk, ketchup, mayo, leftovers. You bought them. But that's communal food now. Ahh, the unwritten rule of the asshole. Look you're probably gonna have food that goes missing okay? If you catch them, confront them, if it continues, report them. But only if you have SOLID EVIDENCE. For god sake when I accused my housemate of eating my yogurts he nearly cried. Just beware, and don't be a ham burglar yourself. 

-FRIENDS, UNI FRIENDS! 

Make friends with the porters, the care takers, the lunch ladies, security guards, the bar staff at the SU and the bouncers. My ass has been saved an unimaginable amount of times because of this during my stay in halls. If you don't listen to anything else I say, listen to this.

-Don't be a snob

You will get used to Sainsbury's own vodka, just like you'll think 60p value tinned peaches is the bestest dessert you've eaten in ages. You'll want to pitch it to Heston Blumenflumen. 

-Have fun!

Coming to Uni is the best thing I have ever done, leaving home was sad but you're bettering your life for you, nobody else. Even if you don't go into your preferred field after Uni, you've gained some valuable life experience there, don't let those 3/4/5/6/7 years go to waste. 

And to prove I did have a ball in my first year at Uni...

The corners of your lips turning upright.

I WILL KEEP UP WITH THIS BLOG. I WILL KEEP UP WITH THIS BLOG. I WILL KEEP UP WITH THIS BLOG.

Happy Sunday! I think I need some continuity in my life, so I'm going to start a feature here where every Sunday I'll post a couple of things that made my week a lovely one. YAY POSITIVE! So, here we go:

1. Finding out Fall Out Boy have come out of sexy hibernation or whatever the fuck they were doing. Queue a new album and a tour! I fangirled all over the place. Not even sorry.
2. Chugging (my version of chugging) the dirty pint in a game of ring of fire and not throwing up, then proceeding to have an amazing night at the SU (I know right.)
3. Realising that I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT BLACK WOMAN THAT DON'T NEED NO MAN. But really, this week I have realised how happy I am on my own, which is something I didn't think would happen for a long time. GIRL POWER.

I think three is enough for now, any more and it becomes too "LOOK HOW AMAZING MY LIFE IS" and any less it just seems ridiculous to even post about it.
Also, I realised my last posts were very word heavy and didn't have any visuals, and if you're like me, I don't really engage with something (unless I really want to) if there aren't any pictures. So, I present to you, my amazing flat mates and best friends, the guys that LIGHT UP MY LIFE ~~~~~

And, because I'm only human;
Here is something that has really pissed me off this week - 
Fall Out Boy have one gig date in the UK, it is to be held at Underworld in Camden on the 25th of February. Tickets went on sale at 9am Friday the 8th of February. I was dedicated, my alarm went off, I dragged my still drunk butt out of my cosy bed, away from being spooned by two of my favourite people, stumbled down my hallway, laptop and debit card in hand and woke up my flat mates who wanted tickets. It was half eight, we sat, we waited, we refreshed like mad. See tickets and gigs and tours were up and I was raping my f5 key like nobodies business, and all of a sudden I had the option to buy tickets. I put all my details in but no one else could pick up tickets, I was in a massive panic. They refreshed like crazy and I hesitated to press purchase tickets just in case (because I'm an idiot). Refresh again, the time is 9.03 and there, on the screen, making stomachs flip and hearts drop all over the country: SOLD OUT. When I pressed purchase I was faced with the same two words draped in disappointment. Absolutely gutted. But why, WHY did they sell out in THREE MINUTES I hear you ask?! Because See Tickets are complete anal fiends and they didn't go on sale when they were supposed to, they were up early.
But hey ho, plan B is to go to Camden anyway on the 25th, have a super sweet chilled day and listen to them from afar.

Always have a plan B, they tend to ensure a better story than plan A did anyway.